3 Years

It scares me so much that it's been 3 years since Adrienne left us. Sometimes it seems like she was just here, sometimes it seems like she was just a dream. I forwarded the youtube video of Adrienne (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIWdsePzkOw) to someone that I met last year, and she remarked that it was odd to put someone's whole life into 4 minutes. We try so hard to keep her memory alive, for people to know what a wonderful person she was and how hard she fought. I asked someone who's daughter died in 2004 what it's like, and she said "bittersweet," which is the only word that comes to mind now. Caesar left us last week, on the 3 year anniversary of Adrienne's death. I imagine her comforting him as he went to heaven. I used to say that he was such a lover, and she would say "mom, he's a lovee." Too funny. He was lovee to the end.

Long time

It's been such a long time since I posted. I'm just not sure what to say or feel. I definitely get through the days better and can talk about Adrienne and our experience without crying uncontrollably. Mostly, I just focus on work and school and home. We did quite a bit of work on the house this year, but thankfully, that's done. I've left Adrienne's room as is with a bit of touching up and decorating like I know she would want it. Another mom suggested packing away things that I want to keep, so I put together a couple of boxes with her school things, stuffed animals, special books, and so on, just to make sure they're preserved and don't get lost. Daniel asked for some pictures, which he's framed and has in his room in Santa Barbara. All in all, things are going well for us in Nevada and California.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was one of our favorite holidays. Adrienne always said she'd learn to cook and help. She never did but she told me what she wanted to eat and I cooked it, and I loved it. The holiday just isn't the same any more. Curt and I had planned to go to southern California to see Daniel but things didn't work out (long story, his, not ours) so we're staying home this year. We'll go out for dinner, just the two of us. Caesar isn't doing well now either and we don't expect he'll be with us too much longer so it's good to be close to home, but you never know, the way he continues to surprise us.

Adrienne's BFF from CMC, Sara, is doing the LA Marathon with Team in Training in her honor. If you'd like to donate, please go to http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/la12/sararoberson. I know she'd love to hear from you and I know Adrienne is so proud of her for doing this.

2 years today

Dearest Adrienne, It's been two years since you took your last breath. It was the worst day of my life and I've had many bad days since, but I'm so proud and honored to have had you in my life for 22 years. I hope that you are happy, peaceful, and pain free. I'll always love you, more than even I can imagine. Love, Mom