Today's Thoughts

If you've posted here, you know that I moderate them. I did this at first because of the ads that were being posted (usually for viagra or an adult site) but sometimes the notes are really strange and I reject those. There were a couple recently of note. One person said that this site helped with a school project. Another said that the recent posts were more interesting than the older ones. Huh? I've also had a few requests to post links to noteworthy causes (Haiti relief, healthcare information sites) and I've declined, not because they aren't worthwhile but because that isn't the purpose of this site. Anyways, don't let that discourage you from posting or writing to me. I like hearing from you even if I don't always respond right away. I'm getting better...able to talk on the phone most of the time now without crying the whole time. No promises on the crying part.

Adrienne's death was the most painful thing we've ever experienced and continue to experience. One dad at Compassionate Friends said he already had the worst day of his life and it's so true. Still, I'm thankful for the time we had together, a lot longer than most doctors thought we would. We never lost hope and she lived as full a life as anyone could under the circumstances. I still think back happily on so many things...trips, graduation, dinners out, even TV. A new season of Project Runway just started and it would have made her so happy to watch it. Every time I watch one of our programs, I think about how excited she would be. Oh, and she would have loved Rudy, telling him a thousand times a day how pretty he is, just like she did with Moe (and Prince and Caesar before them).

Sometimes, I feel so hopeless when it comes to refractory Hodgkin's. For most people, a Hodgkin's diagnosis is a few months out of their lives and then things go back to normal, but for refractory folks, it's a constant nightmare. Kelly Urban, whom I met last year when she was in Las Vegas, passed away last week (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kellyurban) and Bekah is going through a very rough time right now. I have hope that they'll come up with something soon, but in the meantime, it's tough, really tough.