Adrienne was an avid reader. Even before she came back from college last May, books were arriving through an online trading group (bookins.com) that Adrienne belonged to. I went through her books yesterday since her room was chock full of them. There are a lot of text books, including those that came while she was in the hospital for this semester, plus lots of "fun" reading. She always had two books with her: one for school and one for pleasure. There's the entire series of Harry Potter books, everything written by David Sedaris (she saw him at CMC), Bill Clinton's autobiography (she saw him at CMC too), and "All the President's Men," among hundreds of others. She and Curt used to trade books, especially political ones. She even had "Politics for Dummies," as well as a whole slew of other "Dummies" books. I sure miss her.
Life feels like it's in slow motion. Everyone tells me to take this at my own pace, so I'm following their advice, grieving in my own way. I'm trying hard not to lose myself but it's tough, really tough. Keeping busy seems to be the best medicine right now.
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Adrienne was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease in 1996 at age 9. She had multiple relapses, two bone marrow transplants, and a range of chemos and radiation therapies, and passed away on October 1, 2009. We are heartbroken.
Out with the Girls
About Adrienne
- Adrienne
- Adrienne was very much like others with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, the most common cancer in teens and young adults. What was unusual is that she had it for more than half her life and ultimately, it took her life. Hodgkin's is curable for about 80% people, but Adrienne was one of the 20% for whom a cure was elusive. She considered herself lucky since treatments had been there for her with each relapse but she ran out of treatment options and her body just couldn’t take any more. As she said, "Though I’ve now had cancer for most of my life, I no longer plan my life around it; instead, I try to plan cancer around my life." We hope you can take inspiration from her and how she lived her life.
14 comments:
It's still a very fresh wound. One step at a time is all that can be done. You are an incredibly strong woman and you have plenty of time to find your new "new normal". Of course you'll never forget Adrienne or feel "fine" about the fact that she's not physically there with you but surely the pain will eventually lessen, at least enough to get out of slow motion. Thoughts are still with you. . .
hugs
Bonnie
Dear Alison,
I am glad to hear that you are finding your way out of the fog at your own pace.
This post really struck home with me. My daughter, who is ten, loves to read too. She has read the Harry Potter books TWICE and recently read the Twilight series. Like Adrienne, she always has more than one book going at a time. We go to the library together every Friday and she comes home with a pile of books.
Politics and the government are also favorite topics for my daughter. I don't much get into that sort of thing, but my husband will have lengthy discussions with her before bedtime. Lately, they have been going over the constitution before bed. Not my cup of tea, but it's a wonderful bonding time for them.
My daughter and I have always been very close and I hope that our relationship will continue to be that was as she grows and develops. She has a younger brother too - just like Adrienne. She babies and dotes on that little guy to no end! I wonder if Adrienne was that way with her brother too?
Thank you for sharing your special daughter with us.
A Mom
Dear Alison,
Hi. I am glad that you continue to post on Adrienne's Updates. I can only imagine what this period of grieving is like for you. I enjoyed reading about how much Adrienne loved books! She definitely came across as an extremely intelligent woman! I also love books and have quite a collection. But I am rather ignorant/ill-informed about politics. Anyway, Peace and Love be with you. You are in my thoughts. <3
Alison,
There's little I admire more than a person hungry for knowledge. Folks who love reading and value learning as a lifelong passion have always drawn me to them. Yet another thing, I'm sure, that made Adrienne such a brilliant beacon in my eyes.
You can only do this (move forward) as you see fit; there is no right or wrong way. Either way, it will be gut-wrenching like I can't even begin to imagine. But, I have ultimate faith in your strength. Like mother, like daughter.
Love,
Lisa
Sounds like you're doing great, Alison - your pace is the only pace, slow-motion or not.......please know you are NEVER out of our thoughts and we are constantly bomabarding you with virtual love and hugs......<3
Thinking of you Alison!
BIG HUGS xoxox
Stacy
Dear Alison,
I'm touched and so happy that you continue Adrienne's post's. You are in my heart and thoughts. Everyone grieves differently, at their own pace. So take all the time you need. I enjoy reading you're thoughts and the kind of relationship you two had. I don't know what it's like to loose a daughter, but I do know what it feels like to loos that relationship between the two. I lost my mom to Non-Hodgkin s, 11 years ago, she was 50 and I had that same beautiful, loving, share all, relationship with her as you describe yours with Adrienne. It still feels like she left me yesterday, and I don't think I'm over her loss even though it's been 11 years. I miss her every minute of everyday. So again, pace yourself, take it one day at a time. Time is the only medicine that will help you cope. You are in my thoughts, always.
Hugs, and warm wishes.
Haydee
from the(WebMagic HL Forum)
Alison,
I'm 40 years old and I have not lived half the life your beautiful daughter lived. You should be proud of the job you did raising this amazing, brave, smart young woman. She looked death in the face and lived. She lived her life. I am amazed by her strength and courage. I am amazed by you, her mother. What a beautiful life.
Way too short, but so beautiful.
I remember my friend saying this when her son died at 19. She grieved and kept moving. Of course, sometimes she just couldn't, and that has to be OK too. I think of you.
It was so good hearing your voice last night. I think you're doing amazing.
And, I love, love, that you're sharing more about Adrienne with us. I think it's so wondering for other's to hear the other sides of her... that not all of us got to see.
Can't wait to read more.
Love you,
Bekah
Grief takes a lot of time and a lot of work.
Busy was always best for me too, but I spent a lot of time at first on the couch with a book to distract me as well.
I'm the last person in the world to read (actually, I've downloaded the read aloud version) Harry Potter, and I'm finally getting why they are so entertaining.
Take care, Alison.
Karen, Clare's mom
I remember the first thing Adrienne wanted me to do when I came to your house in 1992 was to read her a book. It was 'The 101 Dalmatians'. Later that year she started to learn to read herself and as I read here, she kept loving it.
I keep checking your blog to see how you are doing. One day at a time is all you can do for now. And although you have a lot of support, it will never take away the pain. But it will make it easier - over time - for sure.
Thinking of you!
Annie
Alison,
It was very apparent that Adrienne loved to read. Whenever she published a post on the Hodge message board, her grammar was excellent and her thoughts were so well-organized. Please continue to stay strong for her sake.
Michael
(Herls)
Just checking in to see if you posted. I am thinking of you and send a prayer your way.
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