I went home today to shower and do laundry. It might not sound like a big deal but it was for me. I don't take naps but there's plenty to keep up with. Uncle Kent spent the afternoon with Adrienne watching football, which she hates. Oh well. Most of the time ee leave the TV on with things she enjoys. Dirty Dancing just started.
Tomorrow is a big decision day. We can't leave the tube in much longer and Adrienne needs a tracheotomy. Dr T found an ENT with a lot of experience with people who have had a lot of radiation. Still, the procedure is extremely risky. Between the risk of bleeding and infection plus the procedure itself, this isn't your normal trach. We really need to think about what Adrienne would want. I think the decision depends on whether she can make a meaningful recovery. I'm going to call Dr O tomorrow and I also want to know what the pulmonologist thinks. This is really tough, to say the least. We don't want to lose any options but we know that Adrienne wants a meaningful life. We've had some tough days but tomorrow is sure to be one of the toughest.
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42 comments:
Alison, I'm amazed @ your strength and selflessness in taking Adrienne's wishes into consideration first as you make some big decisions. As a mom I can imagine you want to do anything and everything to just keep your daughter with you for as long as possible. I am amazed by you Alison, and know you will make the right decisions for your daughter. You've always educated yourself so thoroughly to make the most appropriate, rational decisions when most of us would likely shut down intellectually and simply react with our emotions. I wish so much you weren't in this position, that Adrienne wasn't in this position. But I have faith you will do whatever you feel is right.
Praying for you in Indiana.
Alison,
It's very admirable of you to think about what Adrienne would want. I feel better knowing she always has you in her corner and looking out for her. I get the feeling you probably know Adrienne far better than anyone else. It's terrible that you are in this position, but I think you will make the decision that is best for Adrienne.
How I wish Adrienne did not have to endure this nightmare, but I have confidence she will see it through just like she always has before. My thoughts are with her always, and I hope things go well tomorrow for Adrienne, you, and everyone else involved, regardless of what is decided.
Jack
We hear you Alison and we can't even begin to understand/comprehend what you are going through. You are an incredibly wise and wonderful mother and you are "only" human (well super human in your case). I hope with the help and guidance from all the experts and caregivers and your own wisedom that you are able to somehow manage to get through the inhumanly tough decisions ahead. With much love and caring compassion for you and Adrienne P & A
Dear Alison,
I know you'll do the right thing for Adrienne. I have every confidence in you, and so does she.
Love,
Mom
I'm sorry the day is fast approaching for you to have to make this tough decision. You've had days to think about it....still have the wisdom of Dr. O to call upon, and you are considering Adrienne's wishes...all mixed together you will make the best decision possible for her. The heavens will be bombarded with extra prayers as you make the final choice. Feel the love from all of us who care very much for your family.
((HUGS))
Susan
xoxo
Get the tracheotomy. This way you will have done all that you can. If Adrienne recovers, you can always have this fixed later.
Alison, what a challenging decision you are faced with. I'm sure your wisdom and compassion will prevail. Please know that I am sending Adrienne and your entire family healing thoughts.
hugs,
Michele Dwyre
Just sending so much love on this difficult day.........<3.........Vx
I can't even begin to imagine and know there is nothing of true value I can say. Just keeping you both in my thoughts as always. Hoping for a big turnaround and wishing you both all of the strength in the world to continue in this fight and continue making the best possible decisions for the ever changing and heartbreaking twists and turns in this road you have been forced to travel. Much love, respect, hope, and hugs to you both.
Bonnie
I am thinking of you and sending love, as always.
Lisa
Thinking and praying for you on this day, and all of them. There is no one more right to make these decisions than those that love Adrienne the most.
Karen, Clare's mom
I'll be thinking of you both today as always. Honestly Adrienne has been through so much, your whole family has, and yet so much strength comes across in all your posts. Alison, you are holding everything together and you will all get through this, I know you will and I pray for you.
Love,
Cathy
Sending all my love. Alison and Adrienme, you are amazing women. We are blessed to have you in this world. FX Janet
Love and hugs to all of you. Trust yourself - you have the love and wisdom to work through the details and you always have and always will, know Adrienne better than anyone else.
Even when it appears that there is no best decision, you will find the path that is right for you and Adrienne.
I so wish that you didn't have to be where you are today. I know that there are days or hours that feel surreal.
Sending prayers and warm thoughts to all of you.
K
Alison, I've been checking your updates since Adrienne was admitted and just want you to know that you are being thought about and prayed for every day. I hate cancer.
MaryIN
I am keeping you all in my thoughts. I am so very sorry you are faced with these decisions.
Kelly (kittycatmom)
My wish is for peace as you make these big decisions.
A Mom
no words...just thoughts and prayers
darlene
bekah's mom
Always thinking and praying...but especially today as you make such a difficult decision.
Thinking of you constantly with much love, hope and prayers. ((HUGS))
Susan
Alison, Think you of guys. Can not even try to imagine how incredibly difficult today especially will be for you. Adrienne is an amazonig woman, but then she has an incredible model.
Stay strong today - whatever happens.
Praying like CRAZY.
Send much love and big HUGS
~Stacy xo
Thinking of you and praying that you can stay strong today when faced with those most difficult decisions. You amaze me beyond words. You both do. Much love to you and Adrienne, Maureen
All I know is that you'll make the best possible decision. You have a long history making them right. And only you know Adrienne's wishes as well as she knows them herself. All I wish you didn't have to make decisions for her. This is so tough. I just want to hold you and give you at least some support, even though I'm far away. I trust you absolutely, I think Adrienne does too.
Love, Marsha
This doesn't need to be approved or posted but rather just to you.
My sister and mother are going through some of the exact things right now and ironicly have for years. If you are interested I would like to email you and get you and mom in contact with each other. I think maybe you could be a great support and comfort to each other right now. If you are interested, email me at msmetal@yahoo.com
Sheila
My heart and prayers go out to you at this most difficult time. from New Hampshire
wishing you strength...
Oh Alison, this must be so hard. Know my thoughts are with you and have been for some time. Sending hugs to Adrienne, you, and your family.
Very sad here.
MaryNM
Alison,
"A Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible" Marion C. Garretty
Kellie
Thinking of you constantly...OMG.
Love,
Jane
Dear Alison,
Thinking of Adrienne and you!!
(((Hugs)))
Gitte
i jst dont no wht to say alison. i've tryd sevrl times, wrrds just fale me. i am prayng for yuo and yuor famly, fr strength to do wht yuo deside to do, to be stedfast thru ths unbarabl time, to be held up whn yuo ar unabl to be up, for curage to make thees desisns whch no parent shod have to make.
i so wish.....like evrbdy els. i so wish.
heers to hope sweety! truth
Alison,
I left a message for your post dated the 18th but now, I've read this, more recent one.
Since the very, first day that I met you and Adrienne, I KNEW that there was something extraordinary about both of you; I could see it and I could FEEL it!
The speech that you gave at the very first LLS/TNT meeting that I attended was filled with the emotional, yet strong willed words and passion of a mother whose daughter had, at that time, already endured more than any 16 year old girl should ever have to, as a result of Hodgkins. You were talking about "A FIGHTER"; a gal who never gave up, who always had a positive attitude, an infectious smile... someone whose strength and determination were fueled by her desire to live and, who, all along, had the most wonderful and supportive mom by her side who, no matter what, always mades the right decisions... for the right reasons: YOU!
I was thrilled to train with you and Adrienne that season, for Alaska, and was so happy to complete my first marathon, with you by my side, the whole way! I was lucky to have that opportunity and, during the time that we spent walking that trail in Alaska, I was captivated, once again, by your words and the story you told to me, of Adrienne. Your words and convictions touched me then and they've continue to touch me throughout the years since that 2003 speech.
My mom and I were/are grateful to have been able to spend some quality time with you and your daughter while we were up in Alaska; I'll never forget it! The photo that I've chosen for my profile picture, is one that makes me smile, each and every time I look at it!
Adrienne is such an inspiration and, Alison... so are you!
I love you, Alison and... I love you too, my "Peaches n' Cream"!
Just love, constant love, and hope.
Karen
You are such an awesome mom. Whatever decisions you make in the near future will be hard, but they will be the right ones whatever you choose. Adrienne is so lucky to have you by her side.
Hi adrienne and alison -- just wanted to send my wishes and prayers to help you both get through this tough day. Am in st. Louis right now waiting for a flight back to new york and am thinking of both of you. hope dr. O provided sound counsel to you, as he always does. And a belated shana tova of course to the a-team. Love, 'ryan patrick sutton
Thinking about you gals constantly.
((HUGS))
Susan
Alison,
I am praying for you and Adrienne and your family.
Jessica
(fleurdelys7)
I thought of you guys all day and continue to. Sending love and prayers.
Lisa
Dearest Alison, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.
Love, Nancy
I'm thinking of you and Adrienne. Everyone else has already said everything that needs to be said but I just wanted you to know that you're in my thoughts.
best,
Alicia
(cpcandy32)
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